I hate this - Phan
by awesomesockes
Summary: PHAN ONESHOT! Contains: Chronic illness, fluff, slight angst. Dan and Phil do a panel on VidCon. But Dan suffers from narcolepsy and has a hard time staying awake. He falls asleep behind the stage and Phil takes cares of him. danisnotonfire, AmazingPhil, Phan


_Wrote as a part for the narcolepsy series._

**Prompt:** "_Dan and Phil have a panel on playlist live or vidcon (or something similar) and Dan collapses in front of everyone on stage and Phil catches him. It can be fluffy and all that :3 I'm not sure if that's a decent prompt or not… but there you go anyways! I love your phanfictions by the way 3"_

Someone asked for this^^ Of course. Here we go! (Phan oneshot)

**A/N:**I changed the prompt a bit to make it more realistic and less dramatic. Hope it's okay3**  
><strong>Contains:<strong>** Fluff, chronic illness, slight angst.**  
><strong>Warnings:<strong> **Chronic illness**.****  
><strong>Phan status:<strong>** Together**  
><strong>Words:<strong>** 2.449**  
><strong>POV:<strong>** Phil.

**I hate this**

* * *

><p><strong>Phil »<strong>

I kept moving my gaze from the clock on my phone, out to the crowd in front of me, and back to Dan, who was sitting beside me. It was the second day of VidCon and we'd agreed to take part in one extra panel, under the impression that we'd be done in thirty minutes. But it had already lasted over an hour.

My eyes landed once again on Dan, who had become quiet and wasn't participating in the conversation anymore. He was resting his chin down on his palms, still smiling politely out at the audience, but not really focusing on them.

"You okay?" I asked quietly as I leaned in closer, not wanting to attract too much attention.

"Yeah…" Dan slurred back before his head slipped out of his hands. He managed to catch himself before he hit the table and blinked a few times. "What time is it?" he asked with an exhausted sigh.

"Two," I whispered, pointing down at my phone to show him.

I got only a quick nod, followed by a wide yawn in response. My heart started beating a little faster. We weren't meant to be here this long. We were actually on our way back to our hotel room so Dan could take a nap when we'd been stopped and asked if we wanted to quickly be on one more panel. I would've said no, but Dan insisted he wanted to do it and we both thought it would be over quickly.

"You need a break?" I asked him. I couldn't help but notice that some members of the audience were starting to pay more attention to me and Dan than to whatever the rest of the panel was talking about.

"Yes, please." Dan sleepily rubbed his eyes in a last ditch attempt to stay awake, but was slowly failing.

Everyone knew that he suffered from narcolepsy and couldn't control his sleep attacks, but that didn't change the fact that he was really uncomfortable falling asleep in front of fans or large crowds. We did our best to manage his condition by planning our day out in detail and making sure that he got enough sleep so that nothing would overwhelm him, but sometimes it wasn't enough. I could see that he was close to falling asleep now—all the familiar signs were there—so we needed to leave before it happened.

"Erhm, sorry everyone…" I nervously interrupted. I suddenly felt all the eyes turn towards me, which made my cheeks heat up slightly. "This has been fun," I smiled, "but me and Dan really need to get going now, I'm sorry. Thankfully you've got the rest of these awesome people here, so you should be just fine!" I said happily, gesturing to the rest of the panel so this wouldn't seem too serious. And it wasn't serious—I just didn't want to get people talking about Dan.

"Everything alright?" Jack Harries, who was sat beside me, whispered as I started to help Dan out of his seat.

"Yeah, it's fine," I assured him. "Dan's just really tired, so we're going for a short break."

Instead of an answer, Jack just quickly squeezed my upper arm before turning back to the audience. "Can we all give AmazingPhil and danisnotonfire a hand?" he asked, pointing in our direction. The audience cheered loudly, which made me smile a bit as I helped Dan to his feet and towards the stairs on the edge of the stage. I placed a hand on each of his shoulders to guide him safely down before security escorted us back to the restricted area.

Once we were in the VIP lounge, I guided Dan to the edge of the room so we could be alone, and gently spun him around to get a proper look at him. "You okay?" I asked softly, locking my gaze with his to get his full attention.

"Yeah…" he breathed out while nodding, forcing himself to smile a little. "Just, you know…" he mumbled, sounding rather confused, "tired and… yeah…"

"Deep breaths." I carefully brushed his fringe off of his forehead. I could tell that he was a little overwhelmed by the situation, so I just wanted him to calm down before we continued the journey to our room. "It's fine. We're going back now so you can sleep for a bit, okay?"

It happened so fast—like it always did when he had a sleep attack. Dan just zoned out in front of me and fell to the floor, causing my heart to skip a beat. Watching him fall was always one of the hardest things for me because I was powerless, unable to prevent it no matter how much I wanted to.

I wasn't able to break his fall before his knees hit the ground, but I managed to catch his shoulders so I could get him to lie down safely without hitting his head on the floor. As usual, I found myself unwillingly holding my breath throughout the whole scene. These moments were always so stressful for me, even though there wasn't anything particularly dangerous about them. He was just falling asleep.

I gently placed him down and made him lie as comfortably as I could manage since I didn't have any blankets or pillows. Even though he was just asleep, I'd always turn him on his side to get him to lie in a safe position. It helped me get an overview of the situation and feel more in control.

"Everything alright? Do you need help?" I heard Louise ask from behind, sounding slightly anxious.

"No, it's fine. He just fell asleep," I answered in a low voice. I turned around on my knees to face her. "He'll wake up in a few minutes," I kept whispering, even though I was well aware that talking wouldn't wake him up anyway, but just in case. His fits were important, no matter how much we both hated them. He always felt slightly better afterwards.

"Is it his first one today?" she asked quietly as she stepped closer, away from the small group of people she'd been chatting with.

"No, it's the second. He had a really hard time getting out of bed this morning. It took forever," I said with a smile. "I just think it's one of those days.." Because of Dan's narcolepsy, I knew that he felt tired all the time and that sleep was the most important thing, so travelling halfway around the earth, through eight time zones, was hard on him.

"Did something happen? I mean…" She looked down at us nervously.

"No. Just really tired," I explained. Louise had witnessed Dan's attacks a few times before, so she knew what it was about.

"Just tell me if you need anything," she assured me.

"Some water and a security guard would be nice, thanks," I told her. She nodded quickly before walking away.

I turned my attention back to the sleeping form on the floor and took a few deep breaths to calm myself down. He shouldn't have to wake up to me looking nervous, but I always was whenever he fell asleep with other people around him.

Sitting down beside him, I placed my hand gently on his shoulder and started running my thumb over the fabric of this shirt. I couldn't help but smile a little. He looked so peaceful, not knowing what was happening and unaware of all the people walking by, looking questioningly at us. His whole torso was moving up and down slowly, in a steady rhythm, along with his breathing.

I could see how weird this might look for anyone who didn't understand. Two grown men sitting on the floor with one of them passed out asleep. Most of the people here knew already so Dan wouldn't get asked about it, which was good. I knew how much he hated questions about his narcolepsy, especially after falling asleep in public.

After just watching him sleep for about five minutes, his eyes started to flutter open. I pressed my whole body against the floor so I could look him in the eyes and assure him that everything was okay when he woke up.

"Hey…" I muttered under my breath while smiling calmly towards him. He was staring back, looking slightly panicked, not knowing what was going on. "It's alright Dan, you'll be able to move in a bit, don't worry," I reassured quickly. Of course he knew that already, but those few seconds of total paralysis freaked him out every time.

With a low, exhausted groan, Dan took a deep breath like he'd just been pulled out of water, finally able to breathe properly again.

"Okay?" I asked him in a subdued tone. I moved a back a little, giving him space to sit up. "Do you need help?" I offered. But Dan just shook his head a bit before unsteadily lifting himself up to sit against the wall behind him.

Confused, he glanced around at his surroundings until he figured out where he was. "No…" he mumbled and closed his eyes back together as he rested the back of his head against the wall. "I hate this." A few whimpers followed his words.

"I know, but it's okay," I assured him calmly. "Look at me." He did as he was told and lowered his chin a little so he could make eye contact with me. I sighed softly once I got a full look at him—he looked so exhausted, and I felt so sorry for him. "Hardly anyone saw. Louise is coming back with a guard and then we can go back to our room. How does that sound?"

He nodded slowly in response and took a few deep breaths to calm down. "Y-yeah…"

"Let me help you up." I quickly got on my feet to drag him with me. "Okay?" I asked once he was standing in front of me, looking groggy from sleeping.

"It's fine. Just…" But he trailed off with a sigh.

"Come on." I smiled and stretched my hand out in front of him, asking him to grab it so I could follow him back. Louise was walking towards us with a few official-looking people in dark clothes. I gently pulled Dan with me.

We followed the guards closely, just in case any fans noticed us. Now was definitely not the time for talking to anyone or taking pictures. My hand was lightly holding Dan's, making sure he was okay and that he was following us. Our shoulders were lightly touching as we walked down the corridors.

"You two got it from here?" one of the guards asked once we were standing outside our room.

"Yeah, thank you very much." I smiled while unlocking the door in front of us.

"I hate this," Dan complained before throwing himself down on the sofa, burying his face in the cushions. "It's embarrassing. I can't even stay awake for half a fucking day!"

"Hey… It's okay, Dan. You can't help it. No one is judging you—I promise. People only want to help," I assured. But I could only see how it felt from the outside. Putting myself in Dan's shoes was almost impossible. I couldn't pretend I knew how he was feeling because I really didn't.

"I know, but—" He cut himself off and lifted his head up to look at me walking towards him on the sofa. "It's frustrating," he sighed.

"I know," I said in a low voice as I sat down beside him on the sofa. "I know it is… But it's just something we can't change."

Instead of answering me, he just rolled over to lie on his back, making it possible for him to face me. I smiled nervously down at him while slowly moving my hand in the direction of his.

"At least you look cute while you're sleeping," I said with a grin while moving my free hand up to playfully poke his nose. Coursing him to giggle lightly.

"No I don't.." He smiled widely, his cheeks turning into a light shade of pink.

"Yes you do." I argued back, jokingly. This one he couldn't win. I slowly moved my fingers down to lightly drag them across his cheek and down his jaw line. "And beautiful too.." I muttered quietly as I looked him over closely.

"Shut up." Dan giggled shyly as he lightly hit the back of his hand against my shoulder.

"It's true." I continued. But he didn't answer me, he just stared at me in this thankful way he always did.

"Wanna watch some TV, or do you wanna sleep for a bit?" I asked, squeezing his hand lightly after a moment of total silence

"If we watch TV, I'll probably fall asleep anyway… I'm useless at the moment," he muttered under his breath while he desperately tried to rub the sleep out of his eyes.

"You're not useless, silly. It's fine." I smiled. "Move over then." I let go of his hand so he could roll over on his side, allowing me to lie down behind him on the small sofa. I squeezed myself in between Dan and the cushions and wrapped my arms tightly around him, tangling my legs with his to make sure that he wouldn't fall off.

"You comfortable?" I asked him.

"Yeah. Just don't let go, then I'll fall," Dan giggled lightly while nuzzling his body against mine.

"I promise," I said with a grin. "How much do you need? Two hours?"

"Do we have to be somewhere?"

"I can't remember…" I mumbled.

That wasn't totally true—I knew we had to meet up with some of the others at some point—but that wasn't something Dan should worry about. They would understand if we were a little late anyway, so it wasn't a problem.

"But that's irrelevant anyway," I went on. "The only thing you have to worry about is sleeping, okay?"

"Not that hard if I'm being honest…"

I could tell that he was close to drifting off already. I carefully started moving my fingers in small circles on his arm. I liked lying with him like this. I rarely slept when Dan took naps; I preferred to just hold him close and watch him. It was calming, knowing that he was feeling good and safe in my arms. Getting a two-hour break in the middle of the day just to relax wasn't something I would complain about either.

"I love you so much, Dan…" I mumbled into the back of his neck.

I only got a few moans in response, which I guessed was his way of agreeing.

**thend**


End file.
